What the crazy lady done did

Are you ready for the most outrageous story of your life?
I've got it right here.
It was a normal Sunday morning, I woke up at 7:15am to get ready for our 9 o'clock church. At 8:45 we walk out to get in our car, and we see a cop car parked crookedly behind our car, blocked our ability to back out. He must have just gotten there because our neighbor who's parking spot was completely blocked off, is in our ward and had already left for church. We walk out to get in our car, and see this:

My initial thoughts were... who the freak keyed our car?????!!!!!! There may or may not have been a few choice words that I am not proud of, as well. We stand there for a few minutes trying to decipher what the writing says. We also noticed some black permanent marker coinciding with the key scribbles. We start to freak out a little. Warren opens the back door and puts his stuff in, and I walk around to the front of the car and discover that there is a profane word keyed into the hood:

We stand and just look at it for a few minutes before a cop emerges from the building asking us if this is our car.

He begins to explain that this is what they in the field call a 'mental health alert'. (Awesome.)[...were my thoughts]. He starts by telling us that this lady called the police earlier that morning because she believes we are apart of a conspiracy theory, and that we are smuggling babies from India into the United States, and then bringing them to Canada and giving them Canadian identities, and then sending them back to India. (Crazy lady, say what now?). Because of the Utah State sticker we have in our back window, she assumed we were apart of the conspiracy. She actually called the police to tell them that were smuggling Indian babies into the country, and that she marked our car so they could find us. He pieced her story together (and from what he was telling us, was quite the feat) and came to check out the car since she told him exactly where our car was. And that's how we all met and became friends in the parking lot.

We filled out a police report, and the cop told us he was going to go back and charge her, since she basically confessed. We asked what we were supposed to do next. He told us to call our insurance, and talk with them about the damages. I asked if I should tell our property manager... his words were "I can't tell you to, but if I were you, I probably would." So then we drove to church with bull crap* written on our car.

It was a long weekend here, so nothing was open or running on Monday. Today is Tuesday and we have now been contacted by the adjuster from the insurance company and this lady brother in law who 'wants to make right'. Of course, we can't get a hold of either one of them. We went to our property managers office and told her what happened, and gave her a copy of the police report. This lady had told the cops that she was moving in to her apartment but found out it was being fumigated, and then saw our car and had at it. Our landlord said that no one was scheduled or granted access to be moving in, nor were ANY buildings being fumigated. She also told us that there is a new act in affect here in Alberta... called the Privacy Act. In which landlords can't speak of how good/bad tenants are, nor can police officers give out any personal information. Unlike Utah, the police reports aren't published in the newspapers, and now the police can't even release very much information. We do not know the name of the lady who did this, nor does our landlord. However, crazy lady's brother in law got our home phone number and knows our names. I'm a little upset that he has our contact information, especially since we have a feeling he's going to ask us not to go through our insurance or press charges. Unfortunately, he's not going to like what we have to say him. We aren't angry since it's hard to really judge a crazy person. At the same time, she committed a crime, and not just a $50 crime... but a crime that is going to cost upwards of $2,000 for a new paint job, and the cost of a rental car while our beautiful Perez (that's my cars name...cuz it's purple but is a manual transmission) is in the shop. Sorry Charlie.

As you can see... the ballpoint pen she used to carve words into our paint... went clear down to the metal. It's not just a little scratch...

 [ I know where they come from ] ...is what she wrote on the trunk.

... and this is on the front hood.

So, that was our weekend. How was yours?

I just can't decide

On which swim suit I like best. Help me decide, will you?

And here are my top 3:

And while I have you... what do you think of this house?

Sorry it's blurry... not that I can afford it because this house is upward of $300,000. Yup. You read that right. I just want it, that's all.

Pretty Thoughts Journal #2

Remember how I said that my Pretty Thoughts Journal could be about whatever I wanted, as long as it was relevant? That's what this post will be like... relevant. I hope it gives you all warm fuzzies inside.

My best friend is now in an official committed relationship. Her first boyfriend. And first kiss! It seriously almost brings tears to my eyes. Is that sappy, or what?

It's a pretty big deal. So many male figures have lead her on, and made her feel special, and then just woke up one day and changed their minds, leaving her with a lot of doubts about herself and making her feel un-pretty. She has always struggled with her self image, but who hasn't? It bothered me so much that these relatively good guys, would hurt someone so special. It put me in between a lot of rocks and hard places when we would talk about this subject. She always put herself down. I would tell her over and over again how beautiful she was and, just a couple weeks ago, told her that good guys don't care about outward appearance. It sounds so cliche, but it's true! A good guy will love you no matter what! Unforunately, she wouldn't hear of it. It broke my heart to hear her put herself down so much, because no matter how hard I tried, I knew that nothing I said or did would really change her mind all that much. It's sad that our society and the media much so many ideas into people's heads. It's sad that there are so few good people left in the world.

What this friend doesn't know, or maybe she does (I don't know), is that I have always been jealous of her. She complained about being too tall... well at least she could drive without sitting on a phone book (that's not an exaggeration either, my first day in drivers ed I really did have to sit on a phone book). She has beautiful dark, full, thick hair that can be either curly or straight. Her skin is naturally dark, so no tanning necessary! She has super long eye lashes and chocolate brown eyes that reminds me of Hershey's kisses. She always has on the cutest clothes ever, and is always modest and never has to adjust anything! Her laugh is contageous, and the fact that tears usually follow her laughter, just makes it that much more funny! She is a very loyal person, and such a good friend and sister to her siblings. She would listen to me complain about dumb stuff, and always had something nice and uplifting to say. She is so Christ-like. She truly has Christ in her countenance. I wish I could be half the person she is (don't make any short comments there!) and I would kill to look like her! She is amazing. And I admire her sooooo much.

I'm so happy that someone has come into her life and made her feel pretty again. She deserves so much, to be recognized as the gorgeous person she is! And I can tell already that they are a super cute couple! It makes me so happy to see someone I care so much for, finally know what it's like to be loved and appreciated like that! I love LOVE! There's not a doubt in my mind that he is perfect for her! [But, if he ever hurts her in any way, I will kick him in the... pants. :) ]

This picture is actually of my bro in law and future sister in law... it's so cute. I love this picture!

LOVE IS GREAT!

Pretty Thoughts Journal #1

You may or may not know this about me, but back in the days when I was a SAHWWNL (Stay At Home Wife With No Life)(psh, like it was that long ago) I watched a lot of TV series' on DVD. I still do, but since the day job, my DVD watching has decreased. One of my favorites is Gilmore Girls. I am only missing seasons 1-3, only because I don’t think I’m much of a fan of Rory’s high school days- the verdict is still out, but I have a feeling once those seasons go on sale at Wal-Mart again, I may just buy them- I am a big fan of Jess, so you never know. I first popped in a season 4 DVD just to provide back ground noise while I cleaned the house and folded laundry. It soon became apparent that I needed to watch them all because there were so many episodes I hadn’t seen before, and partly so I wouldn’t have another situation where I forgot about the laundry and finished 14 straight episodes in one day. I miss those days. I do still watch my famed Gilmore Girls DVD’s. Usually at night when I’m trying to Zen myself out so I can fall asleep.

I was watching a season 5 episode of Gilmore Girls one night, and the words "Pretty Thoughts Journal" came up. Paris was seeking some counseling from her life coach, Torrance, after suffering the death of her boyfriend, Professor Asher Fleming. Torrance mentions to Paris that she is dragging out her mourning period and needs to put herself back out there and move on with life, and points out that she has been ignoring her Pretty Thoughts Journal.  

I’ve been pondering what exactly a Pretty Thoughts Journal is. Would it be a series of small journal entries with quotes from famous people on beauty? Would it be more in depth and soul touching, talking about self esteem and self worth? Would it just be simple excerpts of my daily life when I feel ugly and need a reminder that life is good? I thought it was a good idea, and I decided that I would start my own Pretty Thoughts Journal (whatever it was) in the morning, of course. I sat for a good while trying to come up with a good plan for what this journal should entail. Alas, I came up with nothing new. And then it hit me. It could be about anything! No rules! So, with all that being said, welcome to the first entry of my pretty thoughts journal!

Last week, my wonderful Aunt Flow paid a visit. Most times when she comes, she never fails at giving me several reminders that her arrival is on the horizon, never letting me forget for one second. Other times, she just shows up with no formal warning what so ever, and a week earlier than her projected time frame. This visit was the latter of the two scenarios. It was one of those moments that make you grateful that your bladder was about to explode at 6 in the morning, thus ending any peaceful slumber. Unfortunately, her visit usually causes my skin to break out, my clothes to not fit comfortably (thanks to the, what seems like 30 extra pounds of water weight), a series of bad hair days, and the inevitable Kelsey-laying-on-the-living-room-floor-moaning from the awful cramps. (We will not make mention of the time when khaki pants were involved). I’ve thought about writing a book about my period because I’ve got some good stories. I’m pretty open about it, and people look at me funny, but I think it’s a good way of finding humor in the small things in life. I sometimes come up with really funny titles like The Vagina Monologue (but that’s been taken), Period Dairies, The Period Fairy (which is in the lead right now), It Comes At The End of A Sentence, and Dear Aunt Flow, Please Die… I could go on but this is already long enough. The point is, menstruation is a crappy thing. I’ve never once heard anyone (men included!) cheer because her period was here. I am no exception. I freaking hate my dear Aunt Flow, and need a little encouragement during my time of grieve and pain. 

While sitting at my desk at work, dying a slow and painful death from my uterus outward, I turned my head quickly and got a whiff of my hair. It smelled goooooood. I couldn’t quite pin point what it smelled like. A hint of shampoo, maybe a little hair spray, laundry soap from my clothing… I still couldn’t tell you exactly. All I know, is that it was amazing, and I kept pulling my trestles across my face so I could breathe in that heavenly scent. It made me feel good during a dismal phase, because it was one of the only things I had going for me that day. It reminded me that I am in fact, pretty even when I feel ugly.

I thought I’d start by sharing something such as this, something that I think for the most part, most women can relate to. I know for a fact that I am not the only female who takes pride in good smelling hair. That’s why hair products are targeted towards female audiences and contain fruity perfumes. Don’t tell me you haven’t ever opened the bottle of shampoo and smelled it while you were still down the hair product isle. 

So thanks to my hair, my day was brightened. Thanks hair! I will never take your scent for granted ever again!

A clean car feels good

We took our car to the car wash tonight. What a fun way to spend a Friday night... (not). This is the first real car wash of the year. You know, the BIG one, once the snow is melted away and the salt and dirt is for the most part cleared off the road ways. We had so much junk all over the floors! We had garbage bags from when we last road tripped. It was gross. It feels so nice to have all the winter dirt and garbage gone! I even bought myself a little Scentsy travel tin to go in our car to make it smell like spring. Clean cars are great. Thanks to who ever had the brilliant idea of installing car washes.

Tonight I am super bored. Probably because the better part of our day was spent napping, me on the couch and Warren in the bedroom (so no, there was no funny business). We slept until 7pm! What losers! We went to the bank today after work to deposit paychecks (yeah, some companies in Canada don't do direct deposit yet. Can you say, a little behind the times?) and the girl that helped us, asked if were married since we both had the same last name and shared a checking account. I thought it was a bit of an odd question, but whatever. We told her yes, we were. She seemed puzzled. Apparently we look like we are barely 18- she then decided to pry into our lives by asking how old we were. Then asked if we were related to a Dr. Fairbanks DDS (dentist)... um, which one? Haha! I always feel really awkward when bank tellers start asking personal questions, as if they actually care. The tellers at Wells Fargo did the same thing, but they were actually interested and way more sincere, the people at our bank do it because their boss is watching and they aren't exactly known for their good customer service. This is the same girl who, when we first started banking there over a year ago, helped us get our account set up and then proceeded to inform us about how she could tell we were Mormon because of Warren's collar line. He had a hard time not blurting out how much he didn't appreciate comments about religion in pubic places since it's super illegal and more importantly, no one's business. My initial thoughts were, 'why the heck are you checking him out? I'm standing right here!'. Ugh. Bank tellers. Some good, some not so good.

All this jibber jabber is just getting in the way of what I really want to blog about. I'm trying to relate having a clean car and something spiritual but it's not coming to me.
Something has been in the back of my mind for years. I've never really wanted to give it much thought because it just made tears pour down my face. So every time the thought pops into my mind, I just tell myself "No Kelsey. Stop. Think about puppies". I'm sure it's denial. Denying the facts that some day, some day real soon, sooner than I want to happen, I am going to have to do my mother's temple work.

Just typing it makes my eyes a little misty. I do not really enjoy the temple the same way that everyone else does. Maybe I'm just that bad of person or something, but I experience a large amount of stress and anxiety from it. I like being there. I like just sitting and soaking it all up, and looking at the pretty pictures and flowers. As far as anything else goes, I struggle. So knowing I'm going to have to go, and do work for someone I know and love, will be beyond terrifying and far too emotional. I've even considered asking someone else to do it, since I know I wont be able to handle it. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Does anyone else struggle with this as much as I do? Or am I just the only one? I've tried going more and more trying to get more comfortable with it, and understand it more, but alas it's not working. I've tried changing my attitude and being more grateful that I even have the opportunity, but it's not a matter of being ungrateful or unappreciative. It's simply just a matter of fear, and anxiety, and PRESSURE. It doesn't seem like any of my go-to options are really sinking in. Praying and reading scriptures, reading about the temples and temple ordinances help here and there, but not enough, and not in the ways that I need. I don't know what my problem is. Does anyone have any advise?

I don't know if I'm even justified in feeling this way. I don't know if I'm handling things the right way or not. I can't tell if I'm spiraling downward into some dark, dismal spell of depression and if I'm going to be able to bounce back. I surprise myself sometimes at how fragile my emotions are. I will be completely fine, and then all of a sudden, very involuntarily I will just lose it. Anger, sadness, hyper activity, negativity, positivity... every thing. The entire emotional spectrum. Poor Warren. I bet he feels like he's just been broadsided by a semi half the time. What do I do? Can anyone give me any input on any of this?! I'm sorry I keep talking so much. Like a freakin' broken record over here! :)

Meet stress relief

This is my new bike. I got it today. I'm basically in love.

Sorry for the poor quality, it's dark. This is the second bike I've ever owned. We live super close to a provincial park (and when I say super close, I mean we basically reside inside) and there are all sorts of paths and wildlife. I hate running, but unfornately it's super good for you and I just can't bring myself to do it. Plus the wildlife scares me so I rarely go outside unattended. So having a bike, makes me feel like I could outrun any wild animal that tries to get me. I went for a ride with my neighbor Allison tonight and it was much needed, and super fun! It took me a little while to get used to riding a bike again, since I haven't ridden a bike since I was 16. My butt hurts, and my legs are dying.. my hands are a little raw from the handle bars... it's all a part of the territory though. Ooo I'm so happy!!!

The details... it reminds me of Hawaii...

And my super cute new helmet! It even has a visor, which is new compared to the last helmet I owned back in the 90's... I feel so hard core now.

I'm really excited to have a bike because it can be a solo activity as well as a group activity. I really needed to find a new outlet for some of my emotions, since blogging about small issues clearly is out of the question. Sometimes it seems like when I talk about how upset I am about having to plan my mothers funeral, depresses everyone and no one really cares or wants to read about it. So hopefully this helps me get my frustrations out.

This is a little random, but I just have to give props to my family. They are amazing. I am the first to admit that my family is a little dysfunctional (by a little,  I mean a lot) but I am so happy they are my family. Recently, I had to call my dad's side of the family to let them know about my mom's condition. I have known for a few weeks, but it's getting to the point now, some days and at certain times of the day, where I can talk about it without completely losing it, so I called them up and gave them the bad news. My mom and dad divorced 20 years ago, and still to this day are good friends. Their families get along wonderfully, and visit each other. My uncle on my dad's side, visited my grandmother on my mom's side today. You don't really expect people to be that close 20 years after the divorce. I just love them. I don't know what I would do without them. Go teams Thompson and Olson/Bahmer! Hahaha!