The last few days have been rough for me. Which bugs me because it's Christmas time and everyone should be happy and loving- and I think I know why. Premenstrual syndrome, commonly associate with Aunt Flow. Up until I was 18 I never had any symptoms when Aunt Flow was in town and then it slowly began. The life long realization that being a girl sucks. Four years later here I am still complaining about it. I guess I should be grateful that Aunt Flow is coming, otherwise I'd have bigger problems to worry about.
Last night, we were invited over to a family's house to make gingerbread houses. Much to our horrid surprise the *Smith's were also there. I decided to call my YW's partner, the one I love so, so much, Jane Smith to make things easier. So Jane and her husband were there. Warren isn't exactly the biggest fan of them either, but only from the things he's heard from me- but really, he doesn't know them very well. This family that invited us over has two kids a girl and a boy, who are YW/YM age. Jane starts in by telling the 12 year old boy that "so-in-so" from the YM's said there is no activity tomorrow (tonight). What's funny is that she said nothing to me about it, and I had even talked to "so-in-so"'s wife earlier in the day and heard a completely different story about the activity that had been planned for tonight. I had also talked to so-in-so's wife about how frustrated I was that I was always out of the loop and that no one ever included me. They shouldn't have asked the bishop to call an extra person if they weren't going to include said person. Jane cocked her head to the side in response--- and holy crap, I have never witnessed a bigger, snottier attitude in my entire life with the response... "um, no there isn't." Hey, California called, they want their valley girl back.
The rest of the night was similar only with less interaction between Jane and I. Warren could tell I was fuming.
When we got home, Warren told me how sorry he was that I had to put up with her. He never believed what I was saying to him all this time was true- he thought I was over exaggerating- but I wasn't, I was just giving him the Reader's Digest versions. He suggested that next time we are invited over to someone's house, we need to nonchalantly ask if anyone else is invited (ie the Smith's- but we wouldn't say their names, obviously) and if they are going to be there, we will have to kindly decline the offer. It's pretty sad when you have to decide that declining offers is the best solution. Sure, we could just suck it up, but Warren suggested it would be better to just not be involved then take the risk of not being able to control your frustrations if it happens again.
Tonight was the worst though. Graham came over with Hayley and we all decided to go out to eat. We decided to try this new burger place "Five Guys, Burgers and Fries" or whatever. So we parked and I was behind the driver seat. I opened my door and you know how sometimes car doors, once you open them a certain amount they kind of just swing open on their own? I guess it has something to do with the hinges. Anyways, that happened to me and it caught me off guard and my left foot was already out of the car and I didn't catch the door before it hit the car next to us. I felt horrible, but I knew it didn't hit it very hard, just enough to make a mark in the dirt. It wasn't like I swung the door with all my strength. It wouldn't have been that big of a deal, except for the small fact that the driver was in the car and heard it. She started yelling towards me before I even walked close enough to the window for her to see who did it- did I mention it was a huge truck? Well, it was. I told her I was sorry but she didn't roll down her window and I wasn't about to sit there in the cold and yell at her through the window. I told her I was sorry, again... yelling, because remember she wouldn't roll down the window- instead she just sat there flailing her arms around, shouting profanities and giving me the bird. I felt horrible but I wasn't going to tolerate that kind of behavior so I walked away. Maybe the wrong thing to do, but I didn't care. As I turned away from her, I told Warren what I did once I caught up to him (no one knew why I was yelling at this lady so they kept walking) but before he said anything the lady started honking her horn a thousand times. That was the most awkward 30 feet in my life. When we got in I did my best to not start crying. I was scared she was going to get out of the car and come find me. Luckily she didn't, and she didn't leave a nasty note on the car either. I'm still really upset about it.
Remember how I'm PMSing right now, too? That doesn't help when things like this happen. I just wanted to go home and cry and be alone and do my own thing (which was the plan before Warren decided to invite Graham over). I'm hoping that once Aunt Flow finally gets here things will calm down- it usually does. But for now, I'm sitting alone in the bedroom while everyone is out watching a movie. I just don't want to be around anyone. On the ride home, Warren asked me if I took my vitamins today, in which I replied that I had, and he followed with "maybe you should take more since you're so mean". THANKS. Maybe next time let's not announce that to the whole car, shall we? Ugh. I can't wait for this to be over.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Because It's Christmas
Christmas reminds me home. And home reminds me of my mom. I got onto a weird tangent in my head earlier, and I just thought I'd write a post completely dedicated to my awesome mom.
Everyone's mom is awesome, but I truly think my mom has a special designated spot in heaven, right next to Christ himself.
My mom is the youngest of four- two sisters and one brother. She tells me horror stories of the things they did to tease her. Especially, my uncle! She was born in Pocatello, and later moved with her family to Idaho Falls. One of my mom's fondest memories of her childhood is being sealed as a family in the Idaho Falls Temple. My mom worked as a nurse's assistant when she was younger. She never had the opportunity to go to college, but always worked hard and never let her three daughters go without- That's why my mom will sit next to Christ.
Mom didn't stay active in the gospel, but always taught us to pray to Heavenly Father. She told us all about Him and how He was watching us and looking out for us. She always encouraged us to be Christ like, even with her uncertainty, she never wanted us to not know Him- that's why my mom will sit next to Christ.
Mom worked several jobs in order to provide for her family. On top of working full time and raising my older sister and I by herself, my mom attended AA meetings in the evenings- she will be celebrating her 18th year of being sober in March- that's why my mom will sit next to Christ.
My mom married her 3rd husband when I was 6, and the next year introduced me to the newest member of the family, my little sister. Everyone swooned over the new baby, I was pushed into the background. Everyone ignored me, and no one ever let me play with my new sister. Except my mom. Mom never forgot about me. She always played with me when everyone's attention was on my sister, and mom helped me teach my baby sister how to walk and talk, change diapers and even let me feed her bottles (and open the refrigerator door, which she later regretted)- that's my my mom will sit next to Christ.
Mom put up with a lot. Her third husband hasn't been the nicest guy. He hit my mom often, and took advantage of her kind heart. He lied and cheated, and never was nice to anyone. Mom took it with a grain of salt, and always forgave him with a heart full of hope and faith that one day it would stop- that's why my mom will sit next to Christ.
Mom's face was in every audience at every basketball game, soccer game, softball game, dance recital, school program, choir concert, awards ceremony and graduation. She never missed a single event, no matter how little time or energy she had- that's why my mom will sit next to Christ.
Mom worked 60 hours a week to pay all the bills. She put everything she had into the bank account and kept nothing for herself. She always made sure that we never went without. We always had gifts for our birthdays and Christmas's- yet never asked for anything to call her own and wore shoes with holes. She only wanted to make others happy and feel loved. That's why my mom will sit next to Christ.
My mom would go to work wearing sunglasses to hide the bruises. She was always so positive and pleasant and never let anyone know what was happening at home. She never complained and never cried in public, she never let it bother her and always kept saying "don't punish him, for he knows not what he's done"- that's why mom will sit next to Christ.
Mom cooked every meal, did all the laundry and cleaned every surface, picked up after all her kids and her husband, never asking for help but was always overly thankful when someone offered to vacuum. She even made time to take care of her own mother- that's why my mom will sit next to Christ.
Mom covered for us when we did something wrong, so my step-dad wouldn't find out. She took the blame for broken glasses and spilled nacho cheese on the carpet. She also never told my step-dad about the small driving ticket I got on my 16th birthday, and forwarded the money to pay the fee. She made sure everyone's plate was full before she sat down to her own plate. She always did the dishes, too- that's why mom will sit next to Christ.
Mom took care of everyone when they were sick. She never complained about catching our illnesses and never asked for anyone to help her when she was sick. She is always there to talk, and to comfort when someone is sad. Mom never forgets to say I love you- that's why my mom will sit next to Christ.
My mom gave everything she had to take care of others. She loves everyone and was so positive. In September of this year she was diagnosed with lung cancer. The day following her diagnosis she started chemotherapy. A few weeks later she started radiation. After 37 years of smoking, she was finally able to kick the habit and has finished all her chemo and radiation treatments. She lost all her hair but never lost that smile! After all these years of taking care of others, it was our turn to take care of her. She finally decided to divorce her horrible husband of 18 years. I've never seen her happier. She is truly the strongest person I know, and has overcome so many obstacles and never regretted anything- that's why mom will sit next to Christ
Love you mom!
Everyone's mom is awesome, but I truly think my mom has a special designated spot in heaven, right next to Christ himself.
My mom is the youngest of four- two sisters and one brother. She tells me horror stories of the things they did to tease her. Especially, my uncle! She was born in Pocatello, and later moved with her family to Idaho Falls. One of my mom's fondest memories of her childhood is being sealed as a family in the Idaho Falls Temple. My mom worked as a nurse's assistant when she was younger. She never had the opportunity to go to college, but always worked hard and never let her three daughters go without- That's why my mom will sit next to Christ.
Mom didn't stay active in the gospel, but always taught us to pray to Heavenly Father. She told us all about Him and how He was watching us and looking out for us. She always encouraged us to be Christ like, even with her uncertainty, she never wanted us to not know Him- that's why my mom will sit next to Christ.
Mom worked several jobs in order to provide for her family. On top of working full time and raising my older sister and I by herself, my mom attended AA meetings in the evenings- she will be celebrating her 18th year of being sober in March- that's why my mom will sit next to Christ.
My mom married her 3rd husband when I was 6, and the next year introduced me to the newest member of the family, my little sister. Everyone swooned over the new baby, I was pushed into the background. Everyone ignored me, and no one ever let me play with my new sister. Except my mom. Mom never forgot about me. She always played with me when everyone's attention was on my sister, and mom helped me teach my baby sister how to walk and talk, change diapers and even let me feed her bottles (and open the refrigerator door, which she later regretted)- that's my my mom will sit next to Christ.
Mom put up with a lot. Her third husband hasn't been the nicest guy. He hit my mom often, and took advantage of her kind heart. He lied and cheated, and never was nice to anyone. Mom took it with a grain of salt, and always forgave him with a heart full of hope and faith that one day it would stop- that's why my mom will sit next to Christ.
Mom's face was in every audience at every basketball game, soccer game, softball game, dance recital, school program, choir concert, awards ceremony and graduation. She never missed a single event, no matter how little time or energy she had- that's why my mom will sit next to Christ.
Mom worked 60 hours a week to pay all the bills. She put everything she had into the bank account and kept nothing for herself. She always made sure that we never went without. We always had gifts for our birthdays and Christmas's- yet never asked for anything to call her own and wore shoes with holes. She only wanted to make others happy and feel loved. That's why my mom will sit next to Christ.
My mom would go to work wearing sunglasses to hide the bruises. She was always so positive and pleasant and never let anyone know what was happening at home. She never complained and never cried in public, she never let it bother her and always kept saying "don't punish him, for he knows not what he's done"- that's why mom will sit next to Christ.
Mom cooked every meal, did all the laundry and cleaned every surface, picked up after all her kids and her husband, never asking for help but was always overly thankful when someone offered to vacuum. She even made time to take care of her own mother- that's why my mom will sit next to Christ.
Mom covered for us when we did something wrong, so my step-dad wouldn't find out. She took the blame for broken glasses and spilled nacho cheese on the carpet. She also never told my step-dad about the small driving ticket I got on my 16th birthday, and forwarded the money to pay the fee. She made sure everyone's plate was full before she sat down to her own plate. She always did the dishes, too- that's why mom will sit next to Christ.
Mom took care of everyone when they were sick. She never complained about catching our illnesses and never asked for anyone to help her when she was sick. She is always there to talk, and to comfort when someone is sad. Mom never forgets to say I love you- that's why my mom will sit next to Christ.
My mom gave everything she had to take care of others. She loves everyone and was so positive. In September of this year she was diagnosed with lung cancer. The day following her diagnosis she started chemotherapy. A few weeks later she started radiation. After 37 years of smoking, she was finally able to kick the habit and has finished all her chemo and radiation treatments. She lost all her hair but never lost that smile! After all these years of taking care of others, it was our turn to take care of her. She finally decided to divorce her horrible husband of 18 years. I've never seen her happier. She is truly the strongest person I know, and has overcome so many obstacles and never regretted anything- that's why mom will sit next to Christ
Thursday, December 9, 2010
More to the story...
So for those of you who care... :)
Remember my last post how I was ranting and throwing a fit? Well there's more to that story.
So about an hour after I vented all over my blog, I started panicking because according to my calculations, there was absolutely no way I would be able to deliver anything of high demand for our activity that night with the given amount of time I had. I called my YW's partner back and asked specifically if there was something I needed to bring. For example, if she was bringing a main course did she want me to bring a salad... that sort of thing- because, raise your hand if you've gone to a party and the only food there were Doritos and salsa? I told her how upset I was that I got the call the day of and how frustrated I am that I am always the last to know and the last to be included, if at all. I felt a little bad because I know the last thing she needed was to hear me complain and be upset with her, after all she is only the messenger. I explained to her that there was no way I could bring anything special with such short notice and with all the other things I had going on. She told me not to worry about it and to just bring whatever I had (um, hello I just told you, I have NOTHING because my grocery shopping day is set for Thursday {today}).
We talked a little bit and discussed how frustrated we both were because there is zero communication between anyone and with the president out of commission (found out her cancer spread), it makes it 10 times harder to get things accomplished. She also informed that I wasn't just feeding the YW but the YM, too! Oh my gosh, seriousLY?! Oh, and don't forget the White Elephant gift exchange! *insert sarcastic smile here*
I decided to make some Gingersnaps that I had been craving, but such as in life- I am a failure. My cookies were not dark brown and crackly like they should have been... they were light in color and stayed in the form of globs. Never mind that I started crying over retarded cookies- I had no time left to make anything else! So I brought what I had and I told her that I did my best and that I was a total loser and couldn't wait for the night to be over. She gave me a hug, which was nice because she's generally pretty cold towards me most of the time. I also gave her a little gift bag with some caramels that I made last week since she was having a rough day, too. We played some games, but I sat alone by myself, like a huge loser. That's right, she didn't even sit next to me the whole night.
I came home and because I was so upset, and Warren was glued to the playstation (boy I can't wait for him to out grow that thing) I decided to try again with the cookies. Warren told me he will only eat things that come from his mom or are her recipes. Wow what an ego booster, pal. We were not on good terms after that. So in spite of him, I called my MIL to get her recipe- lo and behold it's pretty much the same, give or take a little flour here and there. She helped me the best she could, but my cookies still were not Gingersnapy. I finally fell on the floor, smacked my head against the wall and started bawling like a 4 year old. Warren came in and asked what was wrong-- after much deliberation, he concluded that something must be wrong with our oven because nothing ever comes out right anymore. Which would explain why my foodie blog has been a little empty lately, in case you didn't notice. So great! My oven doesn't work. Since baking is more of a science than anything else, the temperature has to be precise or else your yummy treats turn out not so yummy.
So that was my day.
In other news, I am in desperate search of a photographer! I have so many friends who take excellent pictures but none of them live near by. So, if you know of anyone....... :) Hope everyone else is having a fab day! I just got some new headbands and accessories from my good friend Lindsey at Petals and Posh and I'm so excited to post pictures of them--- once I get pictures taken! Thanks for reading, sorry if it's boring.
Remember my last post how I was ranting and throwing a fit? Well there's more to that story.
So about an hour after I vented all over my blog, I started panicking because according to my calculations, there was absolutely no way I would be able to deliver anything of high demand for our activity that night with the given amount of time I had. I called my YW's partner back and asked specifically if there was something I needed to bring. For example, if she was bringing a main course did she want me to bring a salad... that sort of thing- because, raise your hand if you've gone to a party and the only food there were Doritos and salsa? I told her how upset I was that I got the call the day of and how frustrated I am that I am always the last to know and the last to be included, if at all. I felt a little bad because I know the last thing she needed was to hear me complain and be upset with her, after all she is only the messenger. I explained to her that there was no way I could bring anything special with such short notice and with all the other things I had going on. She told me not to worry about it and to just bring whatever I had (um, hello I just told you, I have NOTHING because my grocery shopping day is set for Thursday {today}).
We talked a little bit and discussed how frustrated we both were because there is zero communication between anyone and with the president out of commission (found out her cancer spread), it makes it 10 times harder to get things accomplished. She also informed that I wasn't just feeding the YW but the YM, too! Oh my gosh, seriousLY?! Oh, and don't forget the White Elephant gift exchange! *insert sarcastic smile here*
I decided to make some Gingersnaps that I had been craving, but such as in life- I am a failure. My cookies were not dark brown and crackly like they should have been... they were light in color and stayed in the form of globs. Never mind that I started crying over retarded cookies- I had no time left to make anything else! So I brought what I had and I told her that I did my best and that I was a total loser and couldn't wait for the night to be over. She gave me a hug, which was nice because she's generally pretty cold towards me most of the time. I also gave her a little gift bag with some caramels that I made last week since she was having a rough day, too. We played some games, but I sat alone by myself, like a huge loser. That's right, she didn't even sit next to me the whole night.
I came home and because I was so upset, and Warren was glued to the playstation (boy I can't wait for him to out grow that thing) I decided to try again with the cookies. Warren told me he will only eat things that come from his mom or are her recipes. Wow what an ego booster, pal. We were not on good terms after that. So in spite of him, I called my MIL to get her recipe- lo and behold it's pretty much the same, give or take a little flour here and there. She helped me the best she could, but my cookies still were not Gingersnapy. I finally fell on the floor, smacked my head against the wall and started bawling like a 4 year old. Warren came in and asked what was wrong-- after much deliberation, he concluded that something must be wrong with our oven because nothing ever comes out right anymore. Which would explain why my foodie blog has been a little empty lately, in case you didn't notice. So great! My oven doesn't work. Since baking is more of a science than anything else, the temperature has to be precise or else your yummy treats turn out not so yummy.
So that was my day.
In other news, I am in desperate search of a photographer! I have so many friends who take excellent pictures but none of them live near by. So, if you know of anyone....... :) Hope everyone else is having a fab day! I just got some new headbands and accessories from my good friend Lindsey at Petals and Posh and I'm so excited to post pictures of them--- once I get pictures taken! Thanks for reading, sorry if it's boring.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
I'll probably regret this
Today, I am needing to vent.
I got a call today from someone who I've mentioned on this blog already. Ya know... my YW's partner... and she informed me that tonight we are having a pot luck dinner. A FREAKING POT LUCK DINNER. And she calls me the day of? Asking me to bring something. I'm assuming 'bring something' means bring something big enough to feed a lot of people because the phrase she followed up with included the words 'none of the other leaders are coming'. Could she maybe have called me Sunday? Yesterday would have even sufficed since I went to BOTH Wal-Marts and would have gladly picked somethings up to bring tonight. But no. She calls me the day of. Can I also state for the record, that this is NOT the first time she has done this? She changes her plans the day of and then doesn't call me- so I show up, like an idiot, prepared for a completely different activity. I want an official list of the activities for the next two months, ya know, something equivalent to the golden plates- written in stone... maybe vampire it up a bit and write it down in blood.
It doesn't help that the only thing I have that I can make in less than an hour is a box of brownie mix- but alas, I have to go all the way to my bishops house to get my baking dish that fits the brownies. Also, I have to make lasagna tonight. Why? Everything I have to make it needs to be used up by tonight or else it's all trashed. My dishes have been backed up since last Thursday and have now spread from the sink to both neighboring counters... so, gotta get that done today. It was already on my list of things to do, but I thought I'd have more time tonight which is why I scheduled it later on. Yes, I schedule out my days. You think I'm bored a lot, but trust me there are lots of things to get done some days. Warren doesn't get home until 4, so I don't have a car until then- that gives me 3 hours to go to the store, 20 minute traveling time each way, then to prepare and bake whatever it is I decide to bring. Not to mention make dinner for myself and husband and then eat it.
Am I being over dramatic? Probably. But I am so frustrated. Now, I'm not 'living in the thin of things' because I am more than willing to bring something and I'll do it just as willingly and I'll make time to get it done, but would it have killed her to call me earlier? Probably because she can't handle her life now that she's got a 6 month old baby. Life must be so hard!!!! (I don't mean any disrespect to those who have kids and have a hard time finding time to get things done... but she milks it a little too much.)
I got a call today from someone who I've mentioned on this blog already. Ya know... my YW's partner... and she informed me that tonight we are having a pot luck dinner. A FREAKING POT LUCK DINNER. And she calls me the day of? Asking me to bring something. I'm assuming 'bring something' means bring something big enough to feed a lot of people because the phrase she followed up with included the words 'none of the other leaders are coming'. Could she maybe have called me Sunday? Yesterday would have even sufficed since I went to BOTH Wal-Marts and would have gladly picked somethings up to bring tonight. But no. She calls me the day of. Can I also state for the record, that this is NOT the first time she has done this? She changes her plans the day of and then doesn't call me- so I show up, like an idiot, prepared for a completely different activity. I want an official list of the activities for the next two months, ya know, something equivalent to the golden plates- written in stone... maybe vampire it up a bit and write it down in blood.
It doesn't help that the only thing I have that I can make in less than an hour is a box of brownie mix- but alas, I have to go all the way to my bishops house to get my baking dish that fits the brownies. Also, I have to make lasagna tonight. Why? Everything I have to make it needs to be used up by tonight or else it's all trashed. My dishes have been backed up since last Thursday and have now spread from the sink to both neighboring counters... so, gotta get that done today. It was already on my list of things to do, but I thought I'd have more time tonight which is why I scheduled it later on. Yes, I schedule out my days. You think I'm bored a lot, but trust me there are lots of things to get done some days. Warren doesn't get home until 4, so I don't have a car until then- that gives me 3 hours to go to the store, 20 minute traveling time each way, then to prepare and bake whatever it is I decide to bring. Not to mention make dinner for myself and husband and then eat it.
Am I being over dramatic? Probably. But I am so frustrated. Now, I'm not 'living in the thin of things' because I am more than willing to bring something and I'll do it just as willingly and I'll make time to get it done, but would it have killed her to call me earlier? Probably because she can't handle her life now that she's got a 6 month old baby. Life must be so hard!!!! (I don't mean any disrespect to those who have kids and have a hard time finding time to get things done... but she milks it a little too much.)
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