I was looking through the pictures on my computer, and I came across some old ones from college. I about died looking at some of them, so I thought I ought to share them with the world.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Fri-enemies... You Take The Cake
I read one of my best friend's recent blog posts, and it was just so wonderful. It inspired me to finally get this off my chest. Well, yesterday in Relief Society didn't help either...
The lesson was on 'friendship in the gospel.' Really? Am I really going to get a lecture about friendship right now, with all the recent events that have happened to me? Fine, whatever, it's not like I don't already hate Relief Society as it is. Those were my bitter thoughts...
As some of you know, I have lost my best friend from my childhood, not from death (even though it probably would have been a better way to go) but from just seer lack of... something. I don't even know why we aren't friends anymore. A year and a half ago is when things really started to fall apart. She was always a bit jealous of me when I dated boys. But I kept doing it anyways because I liked it, and I wanted to get married. Once I got engaged, she flew coop and told me she was going to Hawaii for my wedding and New York during my bridal shower in which I would be in the same town as her... or was it the other way around? Either way, it made it pretty obvious she wanted some attention. Things were never really the same after that. My family started to lose respect for her because she was just unable to be supportive of me during this already stressful time. Instead, she wanted to cause scenes and try to convince me that I was making a mistake. We finally called it quits earlier this year, I waived my white flag because I just couldn't take the attacks she was throwing at me all over the internet on her facebook page, and myspace pages. She wanted a victory, so I gave it to her.
A couple months went by, and I really missed her. Even though I hated her, and I had lost so much respect for her, she was the only person who really knew me deep down, and we had shared a lot of great memories together. I wanted her back in my life, not as my best friend because we both knew that could never happen, but just as a friend in general. I told her how I felt, and she was a little hesitant, but we finally talked it out, and built a bridge over the troubled waters we had caused for each other. I was so happy to have my friend back! I wanted to tell her everything that had happened in the last few months, but I didn't want to bombard her with things she may not really care about... and there the problem was again. I didn't know what to talk to her about now. I tried to just find out what as happening in her life and how she was doing with everything. It worked a while. It seemed like she only wanted to talk to me about moving to Canada, which is the one subject I wanted to not talk about.
The week came that I was to pack up my things, and in just a few days, Utah would be in the rear view mirror of my car. I wanted to talk to her, so I called her. No answer, in fact, the call was rejected. I've had a cell phone long enough to know when a call is rejected and not just ignored. I gave her the benefit of a doubt, maybe she was busy and couldn't talk. I texted her telling her wanted to talk to her because I was sad about leaving. Nothing in reply. After a few days of this, I got the hint that that something was wrong, AGAIN. So, I left for Canada without saying a true goodbye... when we stopped for the night in Montana, I got an email from her saying we weren't friends, and why. The 'why' part was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever read in my life. To condence the email into a sentence... I wasn't good enough. Way to pick your moment. It was almost as though she was waiting for me to leave the country to drop the bombshell. I was really upset. Moving to a new country was hard enough as it was, but not having your oldest friend anymore and going through everything I was going through, is not something I wish upon my worst enemy.
So what does this have to do with Relief Society? Well, remember how I said it was about friendship? The lesson began and nothing struck me as important or caught my attention. Mostly because I was still bitter about the email. I would think about all the memories I had with my best friend, and it hurt so bad to think that I wasn't good enough, I just couldn't shake it off. The teacher started asking for people to share experiences they have had with friends in the Gospel. Of course, the room got quiet. Everyone's experiences put me in tears, not because of how touching they were, but because each time someone spoke of their good friend, it reminded me of other friends of mine that have been better friends to me the whole time I was struggling with Heidi. One lady's thoughts are what this whole post is even about.
She shared a story about how her and her husband got a divorce, and how difficult it was to show your face at Church once something like that happens. All the embarrassment, and harassment, people don't really look at you the same. She was so sad because she felt like she couldn't be friends with anyone anymore because she was divorced. She said that she avoided the Church like the plague because she thought that's what everyone else wanted her to do as well. 8 years went by, and yesterday, this particular Sunday, she was back at Church because she decided to change her attitude and not let her past get in the way of her happiness she knew she could have because of her friendships in the Gospel. It was so humbling and inspiring, I was left speechless. I had to remind myself to breathe, and I think the lady next to me had to do the same. I finally sighed the sigh of relief.
So, here is my change of attitude. I'm not looking back and thinking of all the things I could have done better to save that particular friendship, but looking back and recognizing all those people who stood by me while I struggled. People who love me for me. I'm looking forward and seeing all these friends who have already exhibited better, lasting, and true friendships than the one I was begging to savor. Friends who do not judge. Friends who are overly supportive. Friends I want to be friends with into the eternities. Friends I know were sent to me by Christ himself.
As for Heidi... you take the cake.
The lesson was on 'friendship in the gospel.' Really? Am I really going to get a lecture about friendship right now, with all the recent events that have happened to me? Fine, whatever, it's not like I don't already hate Relief Society as it is. Those were my bitter thoughts...
As some of you know, I have lost my best friend from my childhood, not from death (even though it probably would have been a better way to go) but from just seer lack of... something. I don't even know why we aren't friends anymore. A year and a half ago is when things really started to fall apart. She was always a bit jealous of me when I dated boys. But I kept doing it anyways because I liked it, and I wanted to get married. Once I got engaged, she flew coop and told me she was going to Hawaii for my wedding and New York during my bridal shower in which I would be in the same town as her... or was it the other way around? Either way, it made it pretty obvious she wanted some attention. Things were never really the same after that. My family started to lose respect for her because she was just unable to be supportive of me during this already stressful time. Instead, she wanted to cause scenes and try to convince me that I was making a mistake. We finally called it quits earlier this year, I waived my white flag because I just couldn't take the attacks she was throwing at me all over the internet on her facebook page, and myspace pages. She wanted a victory, so I gave it to her.
A couple months went by, and I really missed her. Even though I hated her, and I had lost so much respect for her, she was the only person who really knew me deep down, and we had shared a lot of great memories together. I wanted her back in my life, not as my best friend because we both knew that could never happen, but just as a friend in general. I told her how I felt, and she was a little hesitant, but we finally talked it out, and built a bridge over the troubled waters we had caused for each other. I was so happy to have my friend back! I wanted to tell her everything that had happened in the last few months, but I didn't want to bombard her with things she may not really care about... and there the problem was again. I didn't know what to talk to her about now. I tried to just find out what as happening in her life and how she was doing with everything. It worked a while. It seemed like she only wanted to talk to me about moving to Canada, which is the one subject I wanted to not talk about.
The week came that I was to pack up my things, and in just a few days, Utah would be in the rear view mirror of my car. I wanted to talk to her, so I called her. No answer, in fact, the call was rejected. I've had a cell phone long enough to know when a call is rejected and not just ignored. I gave her the benefit of a doubt, maybe she was busy and couldn't talk. I texted her telling her wanted to talk to her because I was sad about leaving. Nothing in reply. After a few days of this, I got the hint that that something was wrong, AGAIN. So, I left for Canada without saying a true goodbye... when we stopped for the night in Montana, I got an email from her saying we weren't friends, and why. The 'why' part was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever read in my life. To condence the email into a sentence... I wasn't good enough. Way to pick your moment. It was almost as though she was waiting for me to leave the country to drop the bombshell. I was really upset. Moving to a new country was hard enough as it was, but not having your oldest friend anymore and going through everything I was going through, is not something I wish upon my worst enemy.
So what does this have to do with Relief Society? Well, remember how I said it was about friendship? The lesson began and nothing struck me as important or caught my attention. Mostly because I was still bitter about the email. I would think about all the memories I had with my best friend, and it hurt so bad to think that I wasn't good enough, I just couldn't shake it off. The teacher started asking for people to share experiences they have had with friends in the Gospel. Of course, the room got quiet. Everyone's experiences put me in tears, not because of how touching they were, but because each time someone spoke of their good friend, it reminded me of other friends of mine that have been better friends to me the whole time I was struggling with Heidi. One lady's thoughts are what this whole post is even about.
She shared a story about how her and her husband got a divorce, and how difficult it was to show your face at Church once something like that happens. All the embarrassment, and harassment, people don't really look at you the same. She was so sad because she felt like she couldn't be friends with anyone anymore because she was divorced. She said that she avoided the Church like the plague because she thought that's what everyone else wanted her to do as well. 8 years went by, and yesterday, this particular Sunday, she was back at Church because she decided to change her attitude and not let her past get in the way of her happiness she knew she could have because of her friendships in the Gospel. It was so humbling and inspiring, I was left speechless. I had to remind myself to breathe, and I think the lady next to me had to do the same. I finally sighed the sigh of relief.
So, here is my change of attitude. I'm not looking back and thinking of all the things I could have done better to save that particular friendship, but looking back and recognizing all those people who stood by me while I struggled. People who love me for me. I'm looking forward and seeing all these friends who have already exhibited better, lasting, and true friendships than the one I was begging to savor. Friends who do not judge. Friends who are overly supportive. Friends I want to be friends with into the eternities. Friends I know were sent to me by Christ himself.
As for Heidi... you take the cake.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Michelle
Yesterday was a different day. It was Sunday, usually my least and favorite day of the week. It's my least because some Sunday's seem like they just drag on and on and in Utah no one liked to do things like visit with friends. Favorites because sometimes they are just such good days! But yesterday was different. I met a woman in my in-laws ward here in Calgary who was from the Philippines. She spoke broken English, but well enough to understand her. She bore her testimony about how Heavenly Father answers prayers. Normally, when people share experiences that strengthen them, they often ditatch the concepts of actually knowing God exists and having a true belief in Him, and how their story relates to that, yet their stories are very touching. I've actually never met someone who could make you really believe God is near with a small testimony, if that makes sense. Yes, I can feel the Spirit, but no one persons testimony has ever changed my life around completely. Yesterday however, I met that person.
She began saying that she felt so blessed to be in such a loving ward. People offered to give her rides, invited her over for dinner, and for family home evening. They really reached out to her. And she expressed her gratitude because she thought that people weren't that kind hearted from how badly she was treated on her journey here. She was married young, and had a daughter. But because of all the civil wars in the Philippines, it was not a safe life. Her mother and brother were killed in front of her when she was young. Her father did everything he could and worked very hard jobs that allowed him to be in areas where his children would be more safe. They were all members of the Church, baptized as converts at young ages. Once she was married and her daughter was born, she and her husband new that they wanted a better life, and that they could achieve it with faith in the Lord. They wanted to come to a free country, but since they had no one to sponsor them, one of them had to go to the country alone to get residency in order to sponsor the rest of the family. So they decided that she would go to Canada and come back for her family.
They worked very hard for enough money to fly her here, and only were able to manage just enough for the plane ticket and a little for food once she got here. She landed in the US on her way to Calgary, and when she landed she had only $55 US dollars. She had been without food for a few days, and decided while she was in the States, she would get something to eat. After she ate, it came time to get back on a plane and head to Calgary. Unfortunatly the people in customs were not kind, and when they asked her how much money she had and what things she had bought while in the States, they decided to take the exchange rate value leaving her with only $5 Canadian dollars left as she landed in Calgary. She had nothing to live on, no place to live, and certainly not enough money to do anything but cherrish it.
She was arranged to be a nanny here in Calgary for a distant relative, which would allow her to earn money to afford the fees and charges for applying for residency. She was bounced around from place to place while she worked on her papers and gathering all the information she needed to become a resident. She went to Church every Sunday and prayed and prayed that this plan would work out, and that no one would tell the authorities she was here illegally. Once she submitted her papers, there was nothing left to do but just wait. Months went by, and still nothing. As months went by, she began to panic. Her prayers became more consistent, and her family back home began to worry and lose hope. Her daughter growing up so fast without her mother. After Michelle finally decided that maybe this was the wrong thing to do, she consulted a member of the bishopric, because there was nothing she could do, and she had lost hope in being free. I'm not quite sure what happened in that meeting, but I know that it was powerful. That next week she told the people she worked for that she could be leaving. She started to pack up all her things in preparation to go back to the Philippines. On Thursday, however, the day before she was to leave, she receieved a thin letter from the government. She figured it was just a letter stating that she had filled out something incorrectly or that her status was being postponed. But it wasn't. It was what she had been waiting for for so long. A residency status that would allow her family to come. Next week she is flying back to the Philippines to see her husband and daughter to tell them the great news.
I was floored by this woman's courage. After 33 months she is finally able to be living in a free country with her family. Heavenly Father really does answer prayers, and has a plan of happiness for everyone. There was no doubt that a single person in that room wasn't able to know that God was there, in that room, listening, and crying with this woman as she told her story.
She began saying that she felt so blessed to be in such a loving ward. People offered to give her rides, invited her over for dinner, and for family home evening. They really reached out to her. And she expressed her gratitude because she thought that people weren't that kind hearted from how badly she was treated on her journey here. She was married young, and had a daughter. But because of all the civil wars in the Philippines, it was not a safe life. Her mother and brother were killed in front of her when she was young. Her father did everything he could and worked very hard jobs that allowed him to be in areas where his children would be more safe. They were all members of the Church, baptized as converts at young ages. Once she was married and her daughter was born, she and her husband new that they wanted a better life, and that they could achieve it with faith in the Lord. They wanted to come to a free country, but since they had no one to sponsor them, one of them had to go to the country alone to get residency in order to sponsor the rest of the family. So they decided that she would go to Canada and come back for her family.
They worked very hard for enough money to fly her here, and only were able to manage just enough for the plane ticket and a little for food once she got here. She landed in the US on her way to Calgary, and when she landed she had only $55 US dollars. She had been without food for a few days, and decided while she was in the States, she would get something to eat. After she ate, it came time to get back on a plane and head to Calgary. Unfortunatly the people in customs were not kind, and when they asked her how much money she had and what things she had bought while in the States, they decided to take the exchange rate value leaving her with only $5 Canadian dollars left as she landed in Calgary. She had nothing to live on, no place to live, and certainly not enough money to do anything but cherrish it.
She was arranged to be a nanny here in Calgary for a distant relative, which would allow her to earn money to afford the fees and charges for applying for residency. She was bounced around from place to place while she worked on her papers and gathering all the information she needed to become a resident. She went to Church every Sunday and prayed and prayed that this plan would work out, and that no one would tell the authorities she was here illegally. Once she submitted her papers, there was nothing left to do but just wait. Months went by, and still nothing. As months went by, she began to panic. Her prayers became more consistent, and her family back home began to worry and lose hope. Her daughter growing up so fast without her mother. After Michelle finally decided that maybe this was the wrong thing to do, she consulted a member of the bishopric, because there was nothing she could do, and she had lost hope in being free. I'm not quite sure what happened in that meeting, but I know that it was powerful. That next week she told the people she worked for that she could be leaving. She started to pack up all her things in preparation to go back to the Philippines. On Thursday, however, the day before she was to leave, she receieved a thin letter from the government. She figured it was just a letter stating that she had filled out something incorrectly or that her status was being postponed. But it wasn't. It was what she had been waiting for for so long. A residency status that would allow her family to come. Next week she is flying back to the Philippines to see her husband and daughter to tell them the great news.
I was floored by this woman's courage. After 33 months she is finally able to be living in a free country with her family. Heavenly Father really does answer prayers, and has a plan of happiness for everyone. There was no doubt that a single person in that room wasn't able to know that God was there, in that room, listening, and crying with this woman as she told her story.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
I Got Lost
Yesterday, was not a good day. I had to drive Warren to work since his dad left early and couldn't give him a ride. I thought I sort of knew my way back, since it was almost a straight shot once you get to this particular road. Well, I knew where I was supposed to be, but somehow I missed the right exit and ended up far away from where I needed to be. It was not pretty. Instead of going south, which is where I needed to go, I went north, tried to turn around on the next exit, but apparently you can't do that here. It was no outlets to turn around and get back on the road going south. I started to panic especially since I had no money, and my car was low on gas. I ended up by a car dealership. After 20 minutes of going back and forth over the road I needed to get on, I finally, finally, just decided to follow this road and hoped it would eventually connect to where I needed to go. And, lucky for me, it did. I was pretty shaken up from it, and it was only the beginning since I still had to pick warren up from work at the end of the day, driving the same roads all over again! So on my way back to pick him up, what do I do? I take the wrong road again! Luckily, his brother had driven this road the day before when he was showing me how to get there, so I kinda knew where I was, but nothing looking familiar. I pull up, and I thought since I was late, Warren would just be waiting... well, I got into a panic again because I couldn't see him... and everyone was leaving. I thought maybe he got a ride, and I would have to drive back alone, but then why wouldn't he have told me that? So I waited... I decided maybe I should get out of the car incase he can't see me... I get out and wait... finally this nice lady, comes over to her car which was next to mine and asks if I'm waiting for Warren... I don't know how she knew, probably the American license plates, and she called to see where he was. Oh gosh I owe that lady my life! If she only knew what I went through to get there!
After I finally got him in the car and on to our way home... it came time for me to get on to this freeway thing... not easy in 5 o clock traffic. Not only can I not find the kilometers on my speedometer, but when I do hit the right speed, people are still going faster than I am. It makes me so nervous. I thought driving on the I-15 during rush hour was bad! I nearly hit so many people... I feel bad but hopefully they understand that I don't know how to drive in this madness they call traffic. It was a nightmare. But, today I didn't have to drive anywhere. I have quite enjoyed being a stay at home (stay at someone else's home) wife. What an easy job!
After I finally got him in the car and on to our way home... it came time for me to get on to this freeway thing... not easy in 5 o clock traffic. Not only can I not find the kilometers on my speedometer, but when I do hit the right speed, people are still going faster than I am. It makes me so nervous. I thought driving on the I-15 during rush hour was bad! I nearly hit so many people... I feel bad but hopefully they understand that I don't know how to drive in this madness they call traffic. It was a nightmare. But, today I didn't have to drive anywhere. I have quite enjoyed being a stay at home (stay at someone else's home) wife. What an easy job!
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